Next Contestant Songtext / Lyric

I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of assholes comin' on to her
Each night seems like it's gettin' worse
And I wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to fight off
Every asshole comin' on to her
It happens every night she works
They'll go and ask the DJ
Find out just what would she say
If they all tried comin' on to her
Don't they know it's never gonna work?
They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try comin' on to her
This time somebody's gettin' hurt

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand
On my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?

I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
And I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

And I even fear the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for comin' on to her
Don't they know it's never gonna work?
Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbin' her ass
Everyone keeps comin' on to her
This time somebody's gettin' hurt

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand
On my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?

I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
And I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can't wait till they get what they deserve
This time somebody's gettin' hurt

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand
On my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?

I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
And I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
And I wish you'd do it again
(Each night seems like it's getting worse)
And I wish you'd do it again
(This time somebody's gettin' hurt)
There goes the next contestant